Light of the World

 Sunday evening, my youth group went to Pittsburgh. To hang out. And also to evangelize to people we met. I didn't have an awesome time. It went ok. I had people laughing at me. I had people looking at me as if I were crazy and I had a crazy religion. As we were singing once, we had someone yelling at us, exalting the devil. As if he knew his god was being threatened, and he had to defend him.
When I really think about it though,
Jesus didn't ask me to go out and have fun. Or to go out, and everyone will love me. He didn't tell me to just talk to the receptive people. Or the needy-looking people.
He directed us to people He cares about. Maybe we encouraged that regular church-attendant who looked at us funny. Maybe we made that one couple stop and think about what life is all about.
He asked us to go out there and do hard things. It never was promised that people would listen or respond.
But He still asked me to plant the seed.
And I did what I could do. Yes, I probably could have done something more. But it was a learning experience.
And I still hope, and I still feel joy, that somehow, something will come of those seeds that were planted. Because maybe that person will be prepared for the next time he hears some more truth.
Today I talked to someone, and she said, "Where's the sunshine? (it was rainy and cold) You always bring sunshine whenever you come!"
Do I really bring sunshine into your life? I really hope I shine a light into your darkness. And the more I think about it, the more I like to think about the fact that maybe she was talking about more than just sunshine and happiness, but maybe a true light.
It's all about shining a light in the darkness. Even if you can't illuminate the room. Even if you can't see the end result. Be that light.

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God Kisses III

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listening to songs that remind me of the most fulfilling weekend of my life.

encouraging someone, and as a result, being encouraged.

beautiful fall colors.

working with my friends every day.

coming home after a long day, and knowing i have nothing to do that night.

knowing God has huge plans for my future, and looking forward to those plans.

hoodie, scarf, and pumpkin spice cappuccino weather.

time to journal and write out my thoughts.

laughing so hard with my friends that my eyes totally close, my abs ache, my throat is completely raw, and i can't breathe.

time alone to think.

knowing God has a plan in everything, and trusting Him, because He knows the big picture.

doing things to break up the monotony of a day, like splurging on peach rings, and being crazy when no one else is watching.

 

 

the Healer

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I heard about a Healer. They say He can do anything. He travels the country, teaching the people, and healing. I have only been waiting till He comes to my area.
I have had this terrible disease for the past 12 years. I bleed, all the time. I have to be so careful not to break open my skin, or I will bleed for a few hours. It has been extremely hard living like this. No doctor has been able to do anything for me. I have spent so much time and money trying to heal myself, but nothing has helped.
Yesterday, I was on my way home from outside of town. I had to get water, and they no longer allow me to draw water from the city well, because I am always unclean.
As I was crossing the main street, just down from the temple, I noticed this huge crowd of people in front of me. Curious, I followed them. Their attention appeared to all be focused on something close to the front, though I couldn't see what it was.
I tried pushing my way front. As I moved along, the word I heard most frequently was "Jesus." I immediately recognized the name as the Great Healer.
I got this crazy idea in my head that if I could only see the Healer, or maybe talk to Him, He could help me. Maybe even help me.
I pushed through the crowd, with a new determination. After a struggle, I saw the man who apparently was Jesus. He looked to be an ordinary man. Because I came from behind, I could not see his face.
I realized soon, however, that there was going to be no way to talk to Him.
But I know He can heal me, my heart screamed. He can do all things. Maybe it would be enough if I would just touch Him.
And without letting my mind talk me out of such a radical idea, I reached out and touched the hem of his coat. It was only a small movement, and I was convinced no one noticed.
Immediately though, I felt different. I felt renewed strength, like I hadn't in years. My body somehow felt healthy again. In that instant, I knew I was healed by the true Healer.
In my heart, I felt true joy and peace like never before. I wanted to laugh and smile, because life suddenly looked beautiful.
My joy was short-lived, however.
The Healer stopped, mid-step. He turned around, and said, gently, "Who touched me?"
I froze.
His friends looked at Him as if He were crazy and said, "What do you mean? A lot of people are touching you in this crowd."
But He replied, "No, someone touched me. I felt power leaving me." And as He said it, He looked directly at me.
I wanted to disappear. I knew I was caught. I came to Him then, and fell to my knees. I was crying, not sure how to feel. Then I felt his touch on my shoulder. It still felt the same, powerful and something else I wasn't sure of. He asked me why I did it, and he made me explain it to the crowd.
Then, He said the words I will never forget. He spoke the words as though He were my Father. I felt love, acceptance, and peace, all at one time. "Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace."
And now, I believe. I believe in power, and love. And I think that somehow, this Healer, Jesus, is more than just a Healer and a Teacher.
inspired by my Bible reading from Luke 8

Where is Your Victory?

Death is such a finality. Death is the end. We cry, because we want to hold on to something we cannot. We don't like goodbyes. We hate endings.
Life is a beautiful thing. There are heartaches, and there are struggles, but there is hope, and there are opportunities. In life we have second chances. Life is all about loving and forgiving. It is about learning and feeling.
Death is opposite. It is no feeling, and no loving. In death, we have no opportunities. In every sense of the word, it is the complete opposite of life.
And yet, in a way, death is only another stage in life. Death opens a door that leads to so much more life.
In Christ, death is only another step in the journey of life. Death is a beginning of deeper love, fuller joy, and more feelings.
Three weeks ago, I witnessed a beautiful death. The dying process was far from being easy or fun. But the death was beautiful in that he wanted so badly to leave this cruel earth. He couldn't wait to meet his Creator. He was so content to die. And as much as my mind tells me it is impossible, my heart tells me that death can be a joyful time.

brokenness.

I told someone to have a nice day. With sorrow in her voice, she replied quietly, "it's hard being broken when you're alone."
Her words connected with my heart. They rang in my ears. I wanted to remember those words. They were said with such feeling. She felt the pain, and it still seemed so raw.
She used to be happy. She used to be a strong woman. But grief can do so much to a soul.
The words were haunting. I wanted to remember, because they were so real. I quickly wrote the phrase on my arm, as a reminder for the day.
I should have offered hope. Hope in Jesus Christ. Life can be hard. Life does seem broken. But Jesus is a healer of scars. He is a life-giver. And He created each of us to enjoy life and to share real life with those around us.