besties for life.

Someone asked me once why I am best friends with her. "You guys are so different. And you already have so many friends."
    because she needs me. and i need her.
Ever since we were kids, we've been friends. We stuck together constantly. I remember once, I was in the house, and she was outside. Her mom saw me -- alone -- and asked me where my sidekick was. Because it was always me and her together.
Why is she my bestie?
Because she understands. She can relate. We are pretty different, but we have so much the same. Our personalities are a lot the same. So we understand each other in a  lot of situations.
And when she can't relate, she still listens. And gives me advice when I need it, and cries with me when I cry. And screams with me. And dreams with me.
Friendship is about acceptinjg each other. We don't always agree. We are different. But we still accept each other for who God made us.
Two are better than one.
And I love it because I can be so crazy around her. I don't really care how stupid I act around her, because she's my best friend, and others' opinions don't matter.
Friends equally give and take. She gives me my space. I give her space. She accepts my faults. I'm ok with her differences.
And we help build each other up.
I love her for her shrieks of laughter. I love her perseverance. I love how she believe in who I am, and who I can become. I appreciate how she takes life seriously. I love being absolutely crazy with her.
I love her so much, and I love to spend time with her, because I need my BFF.

Who God Is

This morning in church, I heard a message I really needed to hear. The preacher got some of his ideas from A.W. Tozer's book Knowledge of the Holy. I just finished reading that book, so I could really relate to the sermon. He asked a bunch of questions and covered a bunch of thoughts that I had come across while reading the book.
He talked about two things -- God's self-sufficiency, and God's eternity.
God has no origin. God is the only being/thing that was not created and has no beginning.
He is also eternal. As far as He has been in the past, He will be in the future. He lives in the present, but He can see into the past or the future just as well.
Isaiah, in Isaiah 6, saw the being of God, and he became aware of a need in his life. A need for holiness and truth. Just like Isaiah, when we see God, we become aware of needs in our lives. Seeing God will always bring a response -- either good or bad.

"What we think of when we think about God is the most important thing about us." --Tozer

Not what we say when someone asks us. But what we really think about God. Whether we don't think, or we think about His love and mercy, or if we think in complete adoration. It defines us. 

this cruel world

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 This life is so full of hurt. Life is hard. People get hurt. Circumstances kill. Right now I know a few people who are dying of cancer. This morning, I attended a funeral of a victim of cancer. It was so sad. Funerals all are, I guess. Cancer is so ugly. I know, from experience. We don't know what to expect. We don't know when things are going to happen. We have no idea when another spasm of pain is going to come on. It's so hard, living like this. Knowing that at any moment, things could change.
And it's not only cancer. Some people are hurting from rejection, anger, hate, and so, so much more. This life is cruel. Society is ugly. We need to rise above. And believe in ourselves. And believe in the power we have because of our Creator.
And somehow, I am making it. Somehow, I know that God is still in control. I am learning to live in these circumstances. I am learning to dance in the rain.

laughter

There's this thing in my life called laughter. Laughter used to be a huge part of every single day of my life. In the last few months, that has changed a lot. I didn't realize how truly blessed I was, until I lost it. They say a day without laughter is wasted, and I always used to think that was just a trite cliché. In the past few weeks though, I have realized how true the saying is.
I love laughter. The kind when you throw your head to the stars, open your mouth, and gasp for breath. The kind that makes your throat stretch and your abs ache. The kind of laughter that is alternately screaming and silent.
And when you're done laughing, you repeat and think about the fact that you just added 3 years onto your already-long-life, because laughter is so good.
Laughter comes from the heart. It is an expression of emotion. It is real.
God blessed me so much because I have awesome friends to laugh with. It really makes life more bearable. Trust me. Here's to many more laughter filled moments.

perseverance.

Life is hard. My uncle is dying of cancer. Our house is full of people who come to visit him. Our fridge is chuck full of food and leftovers. We don't know exactly what all will happen in the next 6 months.

Sometimes, I just want to give up.
I want to stop smiling. Sometimes I want to quit acting like everything's ok, and I just want to be grumpy and moody like I feel. Sometimes I want to quit trying so hard to be joyful. I want to hole up in my room and not talk to anyone. Sometimes I want to do nothing all day. I want to quit thinking -- about the future or the present, or anything else. So much in me screams I want to give up.
But, I won't. I'm not. I am not giving up. I am not letting this world get me down. Because I know this is in my life for a purpose. Sometimes it's so hard. But just because life is hard does not give me any reason to give up on God. He has already won the battle for me. I only need to claim that victory and live in it.

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What if all we Spoke was Truth?

In today's world, so many Christian character traits -- even good moral traits -- are lost. One, out of many, is honesty. Honesty is the basis of so much in life. Out of honesty comes trust, relationship, and love.
Even closer than in the world, is in the church. How many times have you gossiped talked to her about him, because of something he did to you? How often does someone ask our opinion, and we say we don't care, when really, we did want to do it?
In a perfect world, I tell you your breath reeks, and you say thanks, and you chew two pieces of gum. I told you because it bothers me, and you accepted it, because you want the best for those around you.
If I told you the truth all the time (and I am called to do so), I would tell you that I appreciate when you dress up to go to town; I don't think you should talk to your mom like that because I don't think it's respectful; I wish you wouldn't wear those tight jeans because they draw my eyes where I don't want to look; I think you need to ask God to help you forgive, and forgive over and over again, because Jesus asked it of you; I will share my heart and be open to you, because that is openness, and I trust you; your dress is really tight, and for the guys' sake, I wish you wouldn't wear it.
Why can't I speak more truth? Why do I always try to morph the truth and twist it a little to make it less obvious or less harsh? Truth is truth. Truth does not need to be defended. We only need to let truth out and embrace the truth.

God Kisses II



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::being part of an awesome group of people who love God and make an effot to love eachother with a love that comes from God and we call it unity. i love my church.

::running

::the blue sky and the sunshine make so many things happier

::a job and money to spend

::awesome friends who are there for me and my family

::delia who makes me smile

::the trust i earned from my parents

::uniqueness and the fact that no one is exactly like me

::God always working things out according to his plan

::relaxing with my great family

 ::vacation and seeing my bestie for the next 10 days!!!

::customers who make me smile just by being themselves

::white water rafting

::trusting God for the future, because i don't know what it holds